i Am actually in a confuse state of mind..
Its like..... I dun understand my father ... .I want him to win.. but i also want him to lose...
What is this... I need to get away from home to do trades.. this way i can have a better piece of mind when i trade....

My Feelings

Warning, Super Long Post full of crap in my mind.
This doesn't seem to suit the previous post. so, i made a new thread.

My oldest memories that I ever have... was the one where I follow my father to see my sister's birth. It was in a hospital... I don't know which hospital, but I don't bother to check it also.
It was a quiet place and life was just ....Going pass so fast....

There was another one.. which comes first i don't know.... I was in a night market in amk with my mother. She was holding on to me... but I told her to let me down.. I was too fat for her to carry... and somewhere somehow... I got a dragonball imprint T-shirt at one of the stalls...

That was when i was 4, i assume. Other memories seems faded... A kiss with my cousin. My sister's big fall from the public seat , playing with my toys in the living room . competition and being jealous that i was the one who got first, but my teammates got 1st but i got 3rd... Hahah.. stupid story.. So embarrass, going to McDonald's for my friends party, mom bring me home for lion dance. going for art class. playing "soccer" with my cousin. role playing sukasuka ranger.
friend being hit on the head of the cabinet. Being in charge of the small library. reading Enid Blyton books , seeing my friends read Malorie towers, naughtiest girl series, The tree that grew... watch toy story 1 at the movie theatre. Crying at my birthday.... Shit man... I realise that my birthday is not a good day for me... every year at my birthday , I mange to cry or feel sad...
the first birthday i remember, crying cause i got bullied , Second one, I got hit by someone i don't know. 3rd, I thought that people celebrated for my cousin but not me ( we always hold birthday together cause we are born 1 day apart, different year though)( in the end, it was always on my birthday, not my cousin ) 4th , was P6, where i got my mom to treat a lot of people in my class at McDonald's. I was crying at 12 midnight to get it.. ( It was the PSLE science paper ) . then in secondary school, i remember only the one where my mom gave me money to eat McDonald's. But the catch is that i have to buy it myself and EAT by myself.... whahaa.... till poly year one... where i had my first really happy birthday... then year 2 and 3 i have Jie to start celebrating for me .hahaa... the usual gathering at Ju Ju hotpot. Till army...20th in OCS quietly if i am not wrong... 21st all alone in the field... 22nd ... hmmm.. I cried on that day.... Hahaha... had a very bad start in my forex trade.

Back from the side track... these are all my memories since young...
My mind then was just to live well, never had i thought of Work yet.. it wasn't until secondary school, where I had influences from my parents about stocks... It was very easy for me to take it up as it seems logically understandable. AS long as i am able to work out in logic, i would be able to understand it... Another moment that i had plan was about how to earn big amount of money... I had came up with a few which i wrote down somewhere... It all seems to me that I had it in me... till army.... I begin to think of what i want to do, what i should do. and what are the choices that i had when doing such a thing. I had a destination.. but the route was still in the process of being plan. Not until when I was out of the army.. when i pick up the book "Rich dad, Poor dad" that i begin to understand that my route was there, but there were actually more routes that i can take to get there... many things that were thought in there had gotten me to strengthen my own commitment. It had even grew my mind. I see myself growing in leaps and bounds in terms of my mind. I began to read more books, Clearing 20 books in 4+ months . A feat as i had never even hit 3 books a year prior to that. Financial Freedom is what i had aimed for. Just that i didn't know of such a term . I will become a millionaire.

I declare to the world, that I, Vernon Tay , would earn to be in the HighNetWorthIndividual List. and would want to conquer the UHNWI List. USD30 million is the benchmark.

I have the means to get there, I will get there...

Feelings

2 days ago... I felt like a failure.. .
But when i look back, I must be able to stand up . Change my mindset.
Alot had went through my mind.

Risk taking... Its just whether i want to win, or i set myself down as a failure.
I had given up, and thus the last failure was me that day...

Giving up is a very dangerous thing. I need to understand this fact .

Failures are only failures when they give up.
I have not fail yet.
I will persevere and continue to try.
I play to win.

Lots of time when i look back.. I regretted many things that i did.
But what ever I had regretted, I don't regret them .
Regret does not bring me anywhere.. even if it does, it won't be anywhere good.
So, i would always want to forget what i had done and just get over with them .
No use living in past dreams.

The power of today. The power of now.


Yesterday was gone, there is nothing we can do to change it .
Tomorrow will never come. there will always be another tomorrow
But we have the power to change today's tomorrow and all the tommorrows that comes after that. We do it by changing today.
Now is the time that we have to do something . when we want to do something. Just do it. . for tomorrow never comes.

BZ BZ

Chingay Busy.
Work Busy
Weird Weird Stuff Busy
Read Books Busy
Preparation Busy
So Busy.
Spare time to build assets one day soon.
How.. no time for my friends like ...
Like that i'll become zai nan already..

Stay at home all day. go out don't want to spend money.
i became thrifty, not because i want to , but because i do not have enough money to last me for 4 more months.
I'll be out of cash soon.. oh. no.....

No, i am not going to find a job. Sorry guys. Those who knows me, will know why.
And no, i am not going to study yet. Not yet.. Not so fast. Just wish me luck ...

And so sorry, I really have no cash to lend you, "friend". Why only come to me when you need money? I can only help you spiritually and mentally. Run errands also can.. but money? very sensitive question. I don't know you that well, and I cannot lend you money just based on your so called " assure me". Too many doubts forming. Sorry "Friend" .

By the way, why everyone that comes to me to borrow money always ask for $300 , Do i look like I can only lend $300 or is there other reason to why $300? My mom told me that the reason is that $300 is not a large sum if you really think of it, so even if they forfeit the amount , I wouldn't bark on them for long also. Its a psychologically safe amount to ask for. I agree to it. If anyone wants to borrow 300 from me, i'll reject them. Cause anyone who ask this amount = don't intend to return.

ROI for this = 0 to -infinite%
Net Capital = -300
Cash Flow = 0

Recommendation = Sorry I cannot lend you even if i have enough money to .

Good nite world. Good night to you

2 more days...

looking back... have i done enough? or efficiently?

not very sure... but 2 more days it'll be the start of my contract for myself...
a struggle for 3 years..... I must be able to fulfil my contract and do my best!

That's my ultimate goal.
People may start calling me siao, or worth nothing...
I don't care...
I am not going to find a Job..
But I'll be working for myself.

I believe that we are what we always do . and excellence is a habit and not an act.
also... often great minds will face strong opposition from mediocre minds.

Write off.. I'll reach my goal.

Habit.

Had a chat with my cous today. Very happy too, gave me lots of insights to many things. and it had also boosted my morale in what i am doing. would love to chat with him again.

May all of us succeed in our goals. Financial Freedom.

Aristote : We are what we repeatedly do , excellence therefore is not an act but a habit.