Gonna start doing research...
soon....
start my portfolio also....
got the idea... but the problem is how... what is suppose to be placed in it?
haiz....
Monday, June 23, 2008
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Whats in my mind... Whats on my mind...
Sometimes things run wild in my mind...
sometimes....
I do not understand how i feel.
There is this intuition in me that is screaming out loud, telling me that there is something wrong about you, and that you are hiding yourself from me.
You have something that you do not want me to know. something that makes me wonder if you are really ... really... you...
I can feel it, leaking out from time to time from you.
I did not want to believe it. but i can't help but think ...
and i don't really like what i see... you might not be the one...
Things run wild in my mind.
Sometimes...
Triple personality...
thats me...
So, which side of me should i put on?
I forgot how to remove my different mask from my face.
living in a facade...
whats my inner self?
sometimes....
I do not understand how i feel.
There is this intuition in me that is screaming out loud, telling me that there is something wrong about you, and that you are hiding yourself from me.
You have something that you do not want me to know. something that makes me wonder if you are really ... really... you...
I can feel it, leaking out from time to time from you.
I did not want to believe it. but i can't help but think ...
and i don't really like what i see... you might not be the one...
Things run wild in my mind.
Sometimes...
Triple personality...
thats me...
So, which side of me should i put on?
I forgot how to remove my different mask from my face.
living in a facade...
whats my inner self?
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Very Random Thoughts from me
First i dunno if this would be a very long post or very short post. but i am sure there would be alot of typo here and there...
Alot alot of thoughts in my mind.
couldn't number them, can't count as they are all not concrete...
Was hanging out with my friends today... Many thoughts.
the 7 closest people / 7 's class and status would be the one that you are residing in.
So.. Who are my Real 7? I dun really know... up till now. i can only see 3 to 4 that is really close to me. So work hard buddies. hahaha...
Youth is coming to an end for me. I am starting to feel like an adult. although physically i am one. mentally, i am not really prepared yet. but i hope i am taking i well. experience comes in many forms. maturity comes with experience . I begin to do things that i have not done in my youth. want to live and leave it with no regrets so that there is something that won't pull me back.
To CLUB
Went clubbing ,
Liquor , NO SMOKE, NO OneNightStand.
Dance. lights, Music. DJs.
RELATIONSHIPS
Enjoyed the emotions of relationships, the ups and down. high integrity, not doing anything that is against my morals. knowing that love do exist in this world. Made choices that i had regreted, made choices that also given me understanding. But i would say all the relationships that i had, No regrets from them. I dun really like breakups.... but i guess it is part of this "enjoyment"
FRIENDS
Feeling that friends do exist in the world.
Learning from everyone that are willing to teach.
Knowing that not all friends are friends, that there are actually people who just treat you like a stepping stone. to bully you when they have the chance..
To know that not everyone you know is at the same level as you.
Knowing that there are friends who would stand up for you. To have someone to look up to, to compete with for improvement. to grow together.
To know that everyone is going through the same shit as you.
Friends don't really exist in the working world. but i know... that friends that i have made in my youths, would always be friends with me.
PERSONAL CHARACTER
From experiences I've realise that being too good a person don't always work.
People tend to make use of you. neglect your feelings. Lets see.... about flaws
I hope people can enlighten me on my flaws that i do not know.
I've always asked people around me... but for some reasons, they always try to avoid the question. if not they would just give me generic answers. here's what i know about myself...
I am a friend of the world... This had cause me problems. esp when it deals with people relations. People start fighting and it come a point that i have to take sides. decisions that i absolutely hate to make.
Boasting* Well.. i know this flaw.... i tend to exaggerate. I know i know.
Being defensive when even though i know i am wrong. I always need to find a way where everyone comes to a favourable conclusion. Maybe its Ego... but i don't really like to lose.
indecisiveness on stuffs. There is always the time where people wants me to make decision. same thing, i need to find a way where everyone is happy. so, i normally tend to want to listen to other people's ideas. Looking for options i guess. but it is a flaw that i would need to change. Hahha.. thats why i normally stick with people who makes decisions or plan before hand so that there is at least something to do somewhere. And that is also why i normally fail in dates. hahaha.. i make last minute decisions which makes people not happy. Soon, i will start to not care about other people's feelings and just do what ever that suits me. I think that life is not always about other people.My time for myself is coming soon... To start being decisive... i'll be changing my character slowing but fast enough to feel...
Laziness when there is nothing to do.
To want to do things to my best, even when the requirement is the bare min. I dun really like it when i am asked to do something halfheartedly or ask to do so that i fail things. I prefer just NOT to do it.
Responsibility. I tend to shirk responsibility if i can, but i seem to always get the attention of the people who would then choose me to do stuffs... Well, i dun really mind.... cause with great responsibility also comes great power... or the other way around....
Passion like Fire... maybe this is my biggest flaw....
So, whats my other flaws?
I told sam and yiying that i have 2 things left to do before I stop being a youth and venture into the adulthood. This 2 things have to be settled before i can concentrate on being an adult and work... What are the 2 things, i shall not say as they will remain in my heart until i've done it. .No, its not sex, nor smoking...
I need to rest.... a 5 days of pure nothing, with no one to bother me... with nothing that can distract me. No computer, no phone, no access with friends... time for myself. and just myself... but my parents are not really giving me this time. i've been nagged at everyday. unnecessary stress given by my parents... well, lots of secrets that i cannot say...but if any one of the secrets leaked, i am dead and the stress will kill.. Nope, i cannot tell anyone... but this "extra" stress is not very good for me....
Well.... Looking for Cycling Kakis - Night cycling.... 1 night round Singapore if possible. going to places and taking photos.
Looking for DSLR cameras to play with and to take all the shots that i had wanted to take... ( not to acquire the camera yet though. )
People, dun buy me shoes even though i've been saying that i am lacking it..... I am superstitious i'll have to buy it myself.. Help me take a lookout for nice shoes. not sports shoes k.
lazy to cont... now is late in the night.. need to sleep.
shall continue someother day.
Alot alot of thoughts in my mind.
couldn't number them, can't count as they are all not concrete...
Was hanging out with my friends today... Many thoughts.
the 7 closest people / 7 's class and status would be the one that you are residing in.
So.. Who are my Real 7? I dun really know... up till now. i can only see 3 to 4 that is really close to me. So work hard buddies. hahaha...
Youth is coming to an end for me. I am starting to feel like an adult. although physically i am one. mentally, i am not really prepared yet. but i hope i am taking i well. experience comes in many forms. maturity comes with experience . I begin to do things that i have not done in my youth. want to live and leave it with no regrets so that there is something that won't pull me back.
To CLUB
Went clubbing ,
Liquor , NO SMOKE, NO OneNightStand.
Dance. lights, Music. DJs.
RELATIONSHIPS
Enjoyed the emotions of relationships, the ups and down. high integrity, not doing anything that is against my morals. knowing that love do exist in this world. Made choices that i had regreted, made choices that also given me understanding. But i would say all the relationships that i had, No regrets from them. I dun really like breakups.... but i guess it is part of this "enjoyment"
FRIENDS
Feeling that friends do exist in the world.
Learning from everyone that are willing to teach.
Knowing that not all friends are friends, that there are actually people who just treat you like a stepping stone. to bully you when they have the chance..
To know that not everyone you know is at the same level as you.
Knowing that there are friends who would stand up for you. To have someone to look up to, to compete with for improvement. to grow together.
To know that everyone is going through the same shit as you.
Friends don't really exist in the working world. but i know... that friends that i have made in my youths, would always be friends with me.
PERSONAL CHARACTER
From experiences I've realise that being too good a person don't always work.
People tend to make use of you. neglect your feelings. Lets see.... about flaws
I hope people can enlighten me on my flaws that i do not know.
I've always asked people around me... but for some reasons, they always try to avoid the question. if not they would just give me generic answers. here's what i know about myself...
I am a friend of the world... This had cause me problems. esp when it deals with people relations. People start fighting and it come a point that i have to take sides. decisions that i absolutely hate to make.
Boasting* Well.. i know this flaw.... i tend to exaggerate. I know i know.
Being defensive when even though i know i am wrong. I always need to find a way where everyone comes to a favourable conclusion. Maybe its Ego... but i don't really like to lose.
indecisiveness on stuffs. There is always the time where people wants me to make decision. same thing, i need to find a way where everyone is happy. so, i normally tend to want to listen to other people's ideas. Looking for options i guess. but it is a flaw that i would need to change. Hahha.. thats why i normally stick with people who makes decisions or plan before hand so that there is at least something to do somewhere. And that is also why i normally fail in dates. hahaha.. i make last minute decisions which makes people not happy. Soon, i will start to not care about other people's feelings and just do what ever that suits me. I think that life is not always about other people.My time for myself is coming soon... To start being decisive... i'll be changing my character slowing but fast enough to feel...
Laziness when there is nothing to do.
To want to do things to my best, even when the requirement is the bare min. I dun really like it when i am asked to do something halfheartedly or ask to do so that i fail things. I prefer just NOT to do it.
Responsibility. I tend to shirk responsibility if i can, but i seem to always get the attention of the people who would then choose me to do stuffs... Well, i dun really mind.... cause with great responsibility also comes great power... or the other way around....
Passion like Fire... maybe this is my biggest flaw....
So, whats my other flaws?
I told sam and yiying that i have 2 things left to do before I stop being a youth and venture into the adulthood. This 2 things have to be settled before i can concentrate on being an adult and work... What are the 2 things, i shall not say as they will remain in my heart until i've done it. .No, its not sex, nor smoking...
I need to rest.... a 5 days of pure nothing, with no one to bother me... with nothing that can distract me. No computer, no phone, no access with friends... time for myself. and just myself... but my parents are not really giving me this time. i've been nagged at everyday. unnecessary stress given by my parents... well, lots of secrets that i cannot say...but if any one of the secrets leaked, i am dead and the stress will kill.. Nope, i cannot tell anyone... but this "extra" stress is not very good for me....
Well.... Looking for Cycling Kakis - Night cycling.... 1 night round Singapore if possible. going to places and taking photos.
Looking for DSLR cameras to play with and to take all the shots that i had wanted to take... ( not to acquire the camera yet though. )
People, dun buy me shoes even though i've been saying that i am lacking it..... I am superstitious i'll have to buy it myself.. Help me take a lookout for nice shoes. not sports shoes k.
lazy to cont... now is late in the night.. need to sleep.
shall continue someother day.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Went out with Cat and Gavin.
Long time since the last i saw cat.
Prettier liao.
Plans for life...
I really have to start very soon.
Losing money quickly...
once it hit my cushion amount....
I'll have to start to find work...
But before that...
my list of things I want to Improve in for this 3-6 months
Flash action script,
HTML Scripts
Jap.
Strength
stock judgment
Java
Long time since the last i saw cat.
Prettier liao.
Plans for life...
I really have to start very soon.
Losing money quickly...
once it hit my cushion amount....
I'll have to start to find work...
But before that...
my list of things I want to Improve in for this 3-6 months
Flash action script,
HTML Scripts
Jap.
Strength
stock judgment
Java
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Friday, June 06, 2008
6 Letters, 5 Exclaimation mark ,4 spaces ,3 Parts,2 Tabs & 1 Final Message...
It has come to the point...
16 more hours...
and i'll not look back after that.
It has been a long and tedious journey.
I've enjoyed it.
all the pain, joy, laughter. sadness. ALL running through my mind.
All the momories... Ever since i've stepped into this phase of my life... NS.
BMT- Mohawk Coy Platoon 4 Secion 2 Bed 11
Unforgettable buddies. Best section of the company, enough said.
OCS - Tango Wing Platoon 1 Section 3 Bed 4 First/ Bed 3 Second
Ranger Days, Hardship and Pain, Always a Pizza Hut away. hahaha.. Anton hse to drink Ribena.
OCS - Signal Wing Platoon 1 Cadet mess Bunk
Tao Pork Days. Study and study, but still can fail comms test. ROC was Fun
OCS - Signal Wing Platoon 1 Bunk with Daniel
I just need a little of your time to show you that i am the one. Maroon 5! our Swords and Marching! Signal!
Commissioned as CSE CMDR in ANSTS
1 Year of memories with everyone in the section. CPTs, LTA, 2LT, MWO 1SG , 3 SG, PTE
Time passes super fast there. Busy until CMI, learnt alot there too. second half was super slack. going through Civillian Conversion Course now.
Matured quite abit. now being more serious, I hope...
this young little boy had learnt about life.
Enough Said... I'll end off with this
O R D L O H !!!!!
16 more hours...
and i'll not look back after that.
It has been a long and tedious journey.
I've enjoyed it.
all the pain, joy, laughter. sadness. ALL running through my mind.
All the momories... Ever since i've stepped into this phase of my life... NS.
BMT- Mohawk Coy Platoon 4 Secion 2 Bed 11
Unforgettable buddies. Best section of the company, enough said.
OCS - Tango Wing Platoon 1 Section 3 Bed 4 First/ Bed 3 Second
Ranger Days, Hardship and Pain, Always a Pizza Hut away. hahaha.. Anton hse to drink Ribena.
OCS - Signal Wing Platoon 1 Cadet mess Bunk
Tao Pork Days. Study and study, but still can fail comms test. ROC was Fun
OCS - Signal Wing Platoon 1 Bunk with Daniel
I just need a little of your time to show you that i am the one. Maroon 5! our Swords and Marching! Signal!
Commissioned as CSE CMDR in ANSTS
1 Year of memories with everyone in the section. CPTs, LTA, 2LT, MWO 1SG , 3 SG, PTE
Time passes super fast there. Busy until CMI, learnt alot there too. second half was super slack. going through Civillian Conversion Course now.
Matured quite abit. now being more serious, I hope...
this young little boy had learnt about life.
Enough Said... I'll end off with this
O R D L O H !!!!!
Wednesday, June 04, 2008
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