How is it possible that I am wrong when I am right?
Now i know its possible.. and paying a hefty price for it too.

the inability to part with something caused me to pay for 1 that is more...

Messing around with my newly installed photoshop

Random

Many a times i opened my blogger and wanted to blog out my thoughts , but the many times i did that I blank out... not remembering what i wanted to write about .

I long for a life where I can live freely. Not being restricted by anything, where i can do what i want, get what i want and also to have this ability to just make friends.. in some sense , devoting all my time to friends who I can depend on and have fun with.

But I know that this is not really possible if I continue to stick to my current routine. If you don't like what you see, do something to change it.. thats what i am going to do. I need change . I will change for a faster pace life now so that I can enjoyed the long termed delayed gratification later.
I should not be going for the instant gratification . These are stuffs that will cause me to regret in days to come. so I rather not.

I devote my time to work so that I can attain financial freedom and be able to do what I want.... which is to devote my time to my friends without anything holding me back.

Selfishly , I also want a clean and big personal space ( like those on TV) where I can relax and enjoy the days to come.



- Your own miracle -

Close your eyes,
take some time just to center your soul...
and be at one...
with the sky, you can fly if you unfurl your wings
and face the sun.

In your mind . you will find all the power you need to get things done
and your dreams , they can seem like mear shadows of brighter days to come...

Shoot for the moon, cause if you fail you will still be amongst the star...
don't ever stop, if you never give up you are guaranteed to go far...

Be your very own miracle,
you can't win a race standing still. go on...
pick those beautiful feet up from off the floor , rise and soar...

Be your very own miracle,
just believe you can and you will.. have faith .
every goal that you make is a chain you break to set your spirits free...

Every page
you have turned in this book of your life has led you here

Every step
that you grow closer to conquering your fear

Dreams can come true! but they depend on you and how strong you are
Don't ever stop! If you never give up you are guarnteed to go far

Be your very own miracle
You can't win a race standing still,
Go On
Pick those beautiful feet up from off the floor
Rise and Soar

Be your very own miracle
Just believe you can, and you will,
Have Faith
Every goal that you make is a chain you break to set your spirit Free

Of weddings , BBQ and sentosa

Went out with Gavin for an ROM (Kailing's Sis) . in the end didn't do much cause the couple was late. Slack around and left early to go for the YDC BBQ!

Took me so so long just to reach there... cause i walked from MRT to there and from pit 20 to 46 and back to 26.... and that is just to find them in the bowling area.
Took a wrong choice for the cycling option... paid 6 bucks for 2 hours when i should have paid 8 bucks for overnight.. ( had assume that i am not staying overnight I guess )

After awhile, people start coming and we enjoyed the night. LOL ( feeling to tired to continue to blog now.. ) Didn't slp at all...but enjoyed it cause we played games amd had fun . :)

and today... Went sentosa with my parents... Its such an impromtu thingy that i wasn't prep for it . haha... realised my fear of falling is still there... feel the fear... but do it anyway. I guess I'll live by this principle.

I read something interesting...

We value something not because of its absolute value... but its relative value to other products of the same type.

We also value items based on an anchor given to us.

In my Mind now.. this is what's gonna motivate me...

白手起家

Emoing

I find it funny... how things ended up ... and me becoming emo because of these small stuffs..
Observation and feel... it makes the sadness unbearable...
How people change so fast...
Infatuation is over... Logically looking at it now... this is just funny...
How different are we? How similiar are we?

I am unable to provide for anyone yet...
thus unable to open my heart...

Until the day I am , I will deem myself as someone who has no rights to get into a relationship.
and the person i get into a relationship with.. I hope that she will be the one....

Thoughts

Would 2 years be enough?
Would she grow and be mature enough?
Would she understand that I am thinking of her?

Would I still think of her?
Would I be in such a dilema?
Would I succeed?

Am i thinking right?
Am i really thinking of her?
Or is she just a passerby in my life?

For a guy to talk to a girl.

Is there a need for attraction before anyone can come together to talk ?
Or is it purely platonic ? IDK .
For me yes... I need to at least have a good impression of you before I can start talking to you. If not , we would have no topics to talk about at all...
I tend to talk to girls more and is more random when it comes to them . somehow i feel the need to be random, so that its easier to maintain that friendship cause i can just random with them anytime.

But the thing is , when we are talking , and as we get to know more of each other , the attraction level may increase or drop. Its a delicate thing on whether we can maintain just platonic or upgrade to a different level of relationship , or even downgrade to just nothing.

All this would boil down to topics and experience. If we have the same topic to talk about, I am sure it'll be very fine and we can talk all day all night if there are common interest.
Experience sharing is also crucial in letting the other party know more about you. understanding makes it easier to break the ice. or even to warm up the conversation.

so , whats in it for you? when you start talking to the opposite sex?

I think of you.. and I miss you....

Here I am , Back dating my thoughts on what had happened over the past month ..

First... I got my TMI! meaning now I am a certified trader of SGX and would be trading full time with benefits from it. Took awhile to trade simsci, and finally decided that I would go for nikkei 225 due to the potential that i see in this . Learning . And have my standard template out already. Whats left would be how confident i am of my trade and how i can execute it well..

And yes, of course.. Bills... need to pay them before i get fined.

2nd , I ran my 42KM Marathon!! and completed it!!! Its my first such run and loving it.

3rd, which would be my main topic now... YDC Camp ...

I would like to thank Liping for inviting me to this camp . This is one of the best camp i've been to.. in-fact, I think this is the best camp i've been to. The other camp that is Damn good would be... our SB camp which was org by Mingjie and team ( which includes.. mee ) . LOL.

Its not the camp structure that is nice i would say.. its more like the people. I keep getting the feel that i've dreamt of this camp before. like i've encountered it before. hahaa. Well , I love my group. I think the reason why this camp is so great is cause the group that i mixed with is damn cool! this young bunch of kids had definately won my heart over. Here is the group of locals that were with me..

Top left to right : ShengJie, Juanita ( we call her wan ni , then wannita ) Me , Ming Yong

Bottom Left : Jefferry , Cheryl , Ningyi , Zhu li , and Peilee.

Well , of course, not forgetting the foreign delegates,

We have Fon and Pipe ( A musician ) from Thailand ,

Hung ( or Leo , ) Ngiah ( pronounce as Nee an ) , khan ( forgot how to spell her name ) from Vietnam ,

Main main ( Mei Mei ) from Myanmar

These Guys here... are high when they should be , Mild when they should be. Sporty enough to try everything and is open to everything.

let me try to recap from my camp with this guys... my 4 days with them .

I was early and decided to go to the camp earlier with Liping. while walking i was like.. Oh noo.. am i really coming to this camp? its seems... boring and empty... Wearing my OCS Admin shirt , I sat in the Ops room to play around and chat.. until the people came.

realising that Shengjie was in the gropu, the first moment he looked at me, he was smiling and smiling. haha.. i didn't realised that I was introduced to Jefferry, who also happens to be in our group. I saw .... Girls... and was like.. wah.. heng ar.. there are girls. And yes, tried to warm them up with introduction, since we are suppose to do them anyway. One round with the locals, and i still couldn't get the name in . I only remember an NY because i associated her with new york.

the guy to my right, was looking at me uneasily... and i realised the reason is cause he is an army boy and now looking at me wearing OCS shirt. hahaa.. Simple intro and we continued to our bunk to put our stuffs..

Came down in awhile for camp briefing and Realised that our group is group A. and there is this need to come out with a group name. out of the blue a crappy word came out slip from my mouth and I an't believe everyone took it up.. Since it was for all the fun joy and laughter, our gropu was called.. "AHA!" . hahaa.. what crap, but this crap turn out to be the best team ever.

First game was the usual ..Fire, Hunter, earthquake. Started playing awhile and realised after awhile that my team really group together. while the foreigners are having fin with the game itself, my local AHA team were having fun cheating in the game. Hahaa.. Joined them in the cheating game, and found it more fun than playing the game..

The next game was some game called evolution. Which of course, our team decided to just stay as eggs and enjoy the forfeit. Got Pang seh by Ming yong, who regretted. hahaa. cause the winners do forfeit and the losers watch :)

That ended the day. we were suppose to come up with cheers. and having a curfew, we all went to sleep early still thinking of what to cheer.. If i remembered, we used Juanita's adaptation and came up with our first short cheer...

HA HA HA , we are the Aha Gang,

Aha Aha Ahahaha.

Then soon, we came up with our food cheer...

which goes..

Food food , hungry hungry , yes i want , yes i want

everybody eat! ahahaha!

Then we went for a day at HSA, grouping together, playing and trying to find loop holes( cheating ) through the simple games...

Hahaa.. so fun .. It wasn't until VIVO city, i realised the amount of enthusiasm these bunch of people have. We are suppose to find any shop and look for their cheapest item with any letters of GIVE BLOOD SAVE LIVES inside. just neededing the price tag. we got everything we need...
for $0 .. how pro is that. . of course, we won the game. with everything found and every extra points gained. Except for the 4 points. We came back the earliest and won .

Over at the bus, talked to cheryl and mingyong about what they are studying and all.. and enjoying the conversation.

When we reached campsite , we had little time to prep and everyone camp back down early to discuss the presentation that we have. It was suppose to be a MTV with lolipop and bollywood in it.

After awhile, due to curfew again , we had to go to sleep again. did think of some simple cheoro steps that might work . and the next day , demostrated to them .. in that small few hours, everyone was trying to learn the cheoro that i did. i would say except for the first part of the cheoro , everything else was like impromtu at that spot and finalised. Our team were also quite on for the part where we have to join in the flash mob. so we learnt yet another set of dance too.. haha

Took the stage and enjoyed it. Couldn't get the song hush hush out of my head. The night went on to dance night . While they were waiting , Liping requested that i help her. cause she couldn't get the people to be high. and so there i was with my lameness... Played the leaf is falling game.
and it heated the rest for the next game.. Limbo rock. Took the stage with cheryl and we took the poles. hahaha... the rest have to play the game. Quite fun , and we have the honor of seeing shengjie dance to the music. haha..

The night ended with water bombs, the AHA group took pride in ourselves and decided to take on everything. just sat there to be bomb.. The water was... cold! played quite a few games before we shower and get ready for the night... or was it.. Just when i thought the night is ending, i saw them outside the room.. and aha! we started talking.. the group of us grew bigger and ended with me, MY, NY, Juanita , Cheryl , lilin , XY , Ruoyu , hong wei, bork hang, hashini and herry.

We started talking about Ghost stories ( mostly shared by me ) Dun like to share , but ya, I shared it. then went on to do an introduction of ourselves.. a detailed one. I thought I heard someone say... pls, let him have some ex.. hahaa.. or something like tat.. Hahhaa... I was like. . haha.. ya.. 3 ...

hahaa... we didn't sleep and was playing bridge and some games. Learnt a new game, I hope I won't forget. haha. And played ice and water , which I bang onto Herry and hurt my leg..

And had some final gathering ... and the day ended with misses...